It’s Time to Stop Talking but He Won’t Take the Hint

Oct 29, 2017 | ASK THG

E XX ASKS, Person talking through messages on a computer

So a while ago (probably nearly a year) this guy who I knew, but not very well, asked me out. I just wasn’t interested, but felt bad and led him on. We didn’t ever go out, but spoke all the time online as if we were a couple. In the end, I had to stop it, as I felt bad, but he still keeps messaging me saying he ‘love me’ but still wants to be friends. It’s stupid, we’re only 14!!

It’s so awkward. I think it would be best for him if we just stopped talking, but he won’t take the hint. I don’t want to be mean, as I know he has mental health issues, but it’s starting to annoy me.

Also, he asked a while ago if we could meet up, but in the whole 2 years that I’ve known him, he’s said about 10 words in person to me, so I know there’s just no point; and anyway I just don’t want to.

Any advice?
E xx


Hey E xx,

Yikes, that sounds awkward and uncomfortable. You’re being kind by not trying to hurt him, but you’re not helping either. It’s not healthy for either of you to keep this going.

You nailed it. You’re not in a relationship. You have never gone out. Plus, like you said, you’re only 14. It’s not the time for I love you’s.

Think about your own feelings. You’re not interested and that’s okay!


It’s time to stop hinting and tell him like it is (in a nice gentle way of course).

Send him a message. Keep it honest, simple and to the point. Explain that you don’t want to hurt him, but you want to stop talking so you can move on. Tell him that he’s a nice person, but you need to do what is right for you.

You might also want to say that you won’t be responding to his messages anymore to make it easier on the both of you. He may still try to keep talking to you. You don’t have to respond or explain yourself. Once you’ve made how you feel clear, it is okay to move on.

This is never easy to do. It’s hard and uncomfortable, but so is letting it go on. You know it’s time to stop talking. So do the kind thing for BOTH of you and let him know, too. You’re not being mean. You are respecting yourself and him by being truthful.

Be confident! You can do this!

hope, bunnies, and lots of love,
gabriella & veronica
The Hope Girls

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