My Mom Wants to Start Dating

Aug 27, 2017 | ASK THG

FEELING GUILTY ASKS,hands reaching for flowers

My mom just informed me that she wants to start dating. My parents have been divorced for a year so she says “she’s ready”.

She said she wants to take me out to dinner soon to discuss it. She wants to know how I feel about it. I don’t know how I feel about it, have mixed feelings.

I know my parents won’t be getting back together and I’m fine with that, but it’s still awkward. I want her to be happy, but I don’t want a new “father figure”. I feel bad even thinking that I might not want her to date. How should I handle this?

– Feeling Guilty

Hey Feeling Guilty,

This is a great question! It is awesome that you are taking the time to see both sides. It really shows that you care.

You don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings. Feelings are there to help you sort things out. Then you can determine how you want to act.

Right now, you’re comfortable with the way things are and that is totally understandable.

Change can be uncomfortable (yes, even when it’s good).

Your mom feels ready to meet someone new and start dating. Great for her! It doesn’t mean she is bringing home a new “father figure” tomorrow (or ever). It sounds like she is still figuring this out. It also sounds like she respects your relationship enough to get your thoughts.

We say “thoughts” because she doesn’t need your permission. Believe us, not all parents take the time to see how their kids feel. It’s awesome that she wants to include you.

When you go out to dinner hear her out. Give her a chance to tell you what she’s thinking. Really listen to her. When it’s your turn, be honest!

Explain that you want her to be happy and that you also have some concerns. Now is the time to talk about it. Get it all out! No holding back.

Communicating honestly will give you both better understanding. It might still be difficult to have her start dating, but you will be able to approach it with a new attitude.

Hope, Chocolate, and Lots of Love,
Gabriella & Veronica

The Hope Girls

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