My Boyfriend Cheated! Should I Break Up with Him?

Nov 12, 2017 | ASK THG

BETRAYED ASKS, A couple talking about the fact that he cheated

I just found out my boyfriend cheated during our first few weeks together. I had no idea. It was with his old girlfriend and he swears it was only once. He said he wanted to see if he still had feelings for her. He says he is so sorry and he regrets it because he loves me. We’ve been together for 2 years. I’m not sure how I feel. I love him, but I’m angry. Every time we start messing around, I think about it. I really love him and he hasn’t done it again. Should I break up with him?

Betrayed

Hey Betrayed,

It’s a shock to find out your boyfriend cheated. Right now, you’re angry and need time to process. That’s okay. He broke your trust. You have every right to be upset and confused. Take some time to figure out what you want. Listen to your mind and heart.

He cheated. It is not necessarily a deal breaker, but it is a big deal.

We can’t tell you whether you should break up or not. You’re the only one who can decide what is right for you. We can suggest holding off on “messing around” until you know what you want. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Listen to yourself.

Do you think you can forgive him and let it go?

To stay together and move forward, you have to let it go. Having this on your mind all the time is not good for your mental health. Plus, your relationship won’t work if you are always upset with him or worried he will cheat.

If you decide you want to move forward in the relationship, be open and honest about your feelings. Talk to him. Keep the communication open. Work on strengthening your trust. It can take a while for things to “normal” again

Truth is, you may never be able to get past this. He made a mistake, and you don’t have to be okay with it. You are not responsible for his actions. We know you love him, but it takes more than that to build a healthy relationship. The idea of breaking up is scary, but sometimes it’s the right choice.

Remember to listen to yourself. It’s okay to try and work things out with him and it’s okay to leave. You get to make this decision. We’re sorry you are going through this.

hope, dragonflies, and lots of love,
gabriella & veronica
The Hope Girls

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